YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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