Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
