Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
