You made me cry and you don't even care
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
