in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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