Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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