Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
