mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
tell me about the eggs
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