WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
