Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
