i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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