Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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