The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
