rhymes with "ouble enetration"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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