youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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