i permit you to call me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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