you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
