He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
