omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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