two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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