Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
