Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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