Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
