It's Friday. Sex?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
