My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
