Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
