I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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