Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
