im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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