I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
