Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
