So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
