I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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