just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
