operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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