apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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