I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
