they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize