Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
