Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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