I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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