is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
