Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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