i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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