Your dad touched me again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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