sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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