She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
