Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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