i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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