All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
