I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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