So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My breasts were aching with rage.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
