East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She bit a glass in half.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
