On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The power of my boobs compel you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
