She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Randomize
