So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
