why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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