he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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