So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
