Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
